I am in the process of creating a
new website which will be more true to me than any previous incarnations of my
online self. I have been stressing over what to say in the ‘about’ section. Do
I put the usual education/work experience blurb that makes my website a
glorified CV? Or could I try to be a little truer to myself?
I
chose to write something true, and here it is:
My aim is to create honest work that makes you feel good.
I
believe that like attracts like, so I have chosen to make only positive art. I
try to make it beautiful, or fun, or both and I hope this comes across in my
work.
I was lucky to grow up in a creative household.
One
of my first memories is attending a basket-making workshop with my Mum. I
constantly had art projects on the go, with the highlight being homemade paper
shoes - my sister and I were gutted that our Mum wouldn’t let us wear them
outside.
I have always liked to make small, detailed things.
I
especially enjoyed making tiny belongings like toys, cakes and cheeseboards for
my Sylvanian Family house, and having clandestine tea
parties with their tea sets using real fruit juice and cake crumbs (my sister
can confirm this).
My family immigrated to Ireland
from England when I was ten.
It was nothing like the only
countryside I knew, the one I had read about in my Enid Blyton books. Being so
different to everyone else made a quiet girl like me even more shy.
As a teenager I sold crafts in
local gift shops…
…as we lived too far from a town
for me to get a part-time job. Among
other things I sold paintings, friendship bracelets, greetings cards, corsages
and genuine leprechaun hats (thankfully no one sued me for that!).
I grew up with a deep awareness
of astrology.
My parents are interested in this
and other esoteric subjects, and these things always seemed intrinsic and
natural to me.
I wanted to be an illustrator and
graphic designer.
I attended the National College
of Art and Design in Dublin. At the end of my core year I was torn between fine
art and graphic design. My head won over my heart and I chose the latter, as
back then I was trying to be a ‘proper’ grown up.
When I graduated I began my long search for ‘proper’.I donated
my collection of pretty dresses to a charity shop, as I carried the
smart/casual conservative dress code of my new workplace into my personal life.
I worked as an in-house graphic
designer for a number of years.Although I worked on some
exciting projects, it wasn’t where my heart was.
I spent most of my twenties lost.
I was trying to be someone I
wasn’t, around people who weren’t for me. It was a lonely time – square peg in
a round hole doesn’t even begin to describe it. I always felt there was
something more to life than what I was experiencing, and I felt guilty about
not living life to the full. I was convinced there was something out there for
me that was just…more.
I repeatedly found myself in
crazy situations…
…with deceptive characters in my
life, or accidentally offending people when strange twists of fate made them
interpret my innocuous actions in the wrong way (this still happens sometimes –
a great reminder that I’ve gone a little off-course!).
Then my Mum told me ‘you’ve tried
being ordinary and you’re not – now be extraordinary.’
I thought about it. I cried. I
realised to do this I had to trust myself more, to love myself more. And I
realised loving myself was essentially just being true to myself, and allowing
myself to do what I loved. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I began
to open myself up to change.
When I started to trust, I began
to find me.
Perfectly-timed coincidences
began to happen. I met a new friend for coffee, and she asked me if I knew
about affirmations (she told me later that she had no idea why she brought that
up, she had never talked to anyone about it before!). I began a new job in a
small company, and the only other girl working there taught Louise L. Hay
workshops. After attending one of her classes I realised that this was the
world that felt comfortable and uplifting – that felt ‘right’ – to me.
The affirmation card I pulled at
the beginning of that Louise L. Hay class was ‘I am flexible and flowing’.
At the time I was disappointed to
pull this relatively mundane card when some of the other participants selected
such exciting ones. I felt I was already pretty adaptable and open-minded. But
that important sentence stayed with me, and often pops into my head.
I began to explore new worlds.
I revisited astrology and tarot,
and looked into Buddhism, clutter clearing and minimalism, vision boards,
meditation, tapping and dowsing among many others. Some of these were for me
and some weren’t. Just because something has changed someone else’s life
doesn’t mean it will change yours – you are not them.
I started to incorporate some of
these philosophies into my art
and design.
To me, the two worlds complement
and inform each other, so combining them seemed totally natural to me. I began
to create images informed by my interest and understanding of esoteric
energies, and without the use of recycled, clichéd motifs.
As I embraced these new ideas, I
felt compelled to let go of old ones.
I embraced the idea of new
minimalism, the idea of having ‘enough’. I donated about 2/3 of my wardrobe,
books and other belongings to charity (this time I donated the things that
weren’t me, rather than the things that were!) and recycled or dumped lots of
sentimental items that served no purpose.
With this change in my outer
reality, other things began to shift to align with my new philosophy.
The people that made me feel bad
left my life. The deceptive characters just stayed away from me. Disrupting
individuals pop up now and then, but I’m learning to deal with them.
I am learning to not let other
people’s opinions matter so much.
It’s sometimes hard to be
authentically yourself in a society which is so critical. I have been shocked
by the meanness of some (almost always anonymous!) people on the Internet, but
I believe in karma and balance, that our souls are here to learn, and that
everything happens for a reason (including you reading this!)
That was my story…
…and I wouldn’t change a second,
because who knows who and where I’d be now if things had gone any differently?
However, as Oprah says, ‘you are
not your past.’
The past and future are
important…but now is what is most significant. And being alive on this
planet right now is pretty darn good. We are so lucky to have a choice in how
we want to live our lives, to have a chance to live life to the full when so
many others have not.
At the present I’m enormously grateful…
…to be living in my cosy home in
such a friendly city, with lovely friends and such an extraordinary love in my
life.
As the Dalai Lama said, ‘Our
prime purpose in this life is to help others.’
Anyone that contributes to
positivity and love by helping or inspiring others is a treasure, so that’s
what I will try to be.
I don’t believe we ever stop
searching, growing or changing…
…and that’s a very exciting
concept. There is so much more to learn, do and see, so many more strangers to
make into friends and places to make our homes.
I feel that I am finally on the
right path.
In a recent visualisation I met
my angel of healing. I was astonished to discover that she was very similar to
the dark-eyed angel I have been repeatedly making in paper collages.
I would like to work with
positive, well-meaning people…
…as I
believe that what we focus on and create multiplies. If feel my services can be
of benefit to you, please get in touch, or if you like my work please check out
my Etsy and Society6 Shops.
So here I am.
This is my honest and authentic,
unvarnished self, doing what I love and wearing pretty dresses again. Welcome
to my world, I’m very pleased to meet you!
